I came across a term recently that has made me think deeply about how I see others, particularly those with whom I don’t usually agree. If we think about it, we often perceive our own worldview as the correct one. We rarely question our beliefs or ideas about right, wrong, morality, hedonism, etc.
I’ve considered those who disagree with me on fundamental issues like truth, morals, religion, politics, and the like, prompted by one simple question:
What if I’m the one who is wrong?
Looking deeply at this question, the result can be somewhat terrifying, can’t it? What if the way you believe is wrong and your entire worldview is based on either lies or, at best, the teachings of well-meaning but misinformed forebears who led us astray?
The term I came across is “Fundamental Attribution Error.”
Here are some examples that might resonate:
Example 1: Driving down the highway
Drivers going too slow, causing us to pass them, can be annoying and lead us to think they shouldn’t be on the road due to age or incompetence. Drivers going too fast, whipping around us, can incite anger or rage, often with the thought that they must think their errands are more important than ours.
Our views in both cases are likely false. To the person driving slower than us, we may appear to be the maniac driving too fast. To the person driving fast, we may seem like the slow driver annoying everyone.
Example 2: Sexual Attraction
I’m a heterosexual male, so I’ll approach this from that standpoint, but you can analyze it based on your own preferences.
You see a woman at the store who gives you butterflies in the pit of your stomach due to her extreme beauty, with a physical appearance that registers an 11 on a scale of 1 to 10. Her positive attitude radiates, further enhancing her attractiveness and making it necessary to curb thoughts and feelings of lust.
On a plane, a woman sits across from you, dressed in a way that simply “doesn’t do it for you,” laughs a little too loudly, and seems disorganized. No need to curb thoughts here.
Again, our views on the first woman are subjective. Physical appearance is just that and doesn’t account for what’s inside a person. Attraction only lasts so long, and those with a deeper sense of value might find this person unattractive based on past experiences with people who behave poorly due to their looks.
On the flip side, the unattractive woman may excel at fulfilling a partner’s needs, generating immense happiness and love, making her a complete knockout to others. While we may not find her attractive, someone probably sees her as a modern-day Cindy Crawford.
One More
Example 3: Politics
Ah yes, the topic nobody wants to talk about unless surrounded by those who share their views. I’ll try to present two opposing points without divulging my own political beliefs, as this isn’t that kind of letter.
Assuming I lean right, I might see Trump as the obvious choice for our next leader. Biden probably seems senile and incompetent, with Kamala being perceived as someone who rose to the top through questionable means. Sure, Trump has a past, but who doesn’t? I mean, look at Hunter Biden and his drug use with hookers.
Assuming I lean left, I might see Trump as a massive threat to our peace and happiness as a country. Biden and Kamala may have been the only ones preventing us from entering WW3 with Russia, and inflation could have skyrocketed with a previously bankrupt businessman at the helm.
If I lean left, my views are correct. Anyone who disagrees with me is not just insane but probably a racist, bigot, woman-hating person. If I lean right, just flip all of that in the most disgusting way possible.
The Solution
Trying to see things from someone else’s perspective is a lifelong pursuit, but a worthwhile one.
As my uncle often quotes his father:
“Don’t judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins.”
The solution is to gain a little humility. Guess what? You aren’t right all the time. In fact, I’d be surprised if we are ever right even 50% of the time. It’s probably rare or never that we acknowledge this.
If you want to improve yourself, it is true that you should first cast the mote out of your own eye or get your own house in order. Once you have a reasonably organized self, instead of trying to help others get it together, take a minute to listen and consider the idea that they might just be right.
Who knows, maybe we will all learn to get along just a little better and not continually divide ourselves. Hey, a person can hope.
Until next time,
Joseph